The Wounds

It happened again…

This is what always happens.

Why does everyone I love leaving me?

I’m taking up too much space.

I’ve been let down many times.

…

The list goes on and on.

Let us give you a secret that is not a secret; we all have wounds.

In our early childhood, often by the age of 9 we got those wounds, the time when we didn’t know how to process, or to protect ourselves.

And because it hurt so much we said “I don’t want this ever again.” So we put on masks. It was the survival instinct that made us put on the mask.

“Every wound comes from a moment where we felt our being was not acceptable as it was.” — Lise Bourbeau

The 5 Wounds

Lise Bourbeau wrote about 5 wounds; Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, Injustice. Here’s a sneak peak;

1. Rejection

Mask: Withdrawn
Core fear: “I’m not wanted.”

This wound forms early, often before language. We as the child internalize the message that our presence is “too much” or “not welcome.”
So we detach, emotionally, mentally, sometimes even spiritually.

2. Abandonment

Mask: Dependent
Core fear: “I will be left.”

This usually appears we as a child felt emotionally unsupported, not because no one was there, but because no one truly tuned in.
We grow up needing external validation to feel safe.

3. Humiliation

Mask: Masochist
Core fear: “My needs are shameful.”

This can stem from being mocked, scolded, or embarrassed for natural things like curiosity, joy, pleasure, or the body.
So we shrink. We become “nice.” We apologize for existing.

4. Betrayal

Mask: Controller
Core fear: “People will fail me.”

This forms when someone we trusted broke that trust, especially a parent of the opposite sex.
So we over-function, dominate, or stay emotionally distant to avoid vulnerability.

5. Injustice

Mask: Rigidity
Core fear: “If I’m not perfect, I’ll be punished.”

This often comes from overly strict or emotionally cold environments where being expressive led to criticism.
So webecomes perfectionists, numb, or emotionally distant to maintain control.

The wound said “I don’t want this pain again.”

The mask said “Ok, I’ll make sure that no one ever sees this part of you again.”

And it was the deal.

But what happened is even though you wore the mask, you kept bleeding underneath it. Because you created situations and people to make sure that the wound would keep bleeding. Because you had something to gain. But what is it? Well 🙂

These masks served you very well. But not anymore, they can’t serve you at where you’re heading.

It is neither to blame the wound nor the mask. You had something to learn.

And when you heal it, you’ll receive your gifts from those wounds.

Start by becoming aware of the wounds, masks, how they play out in your life, how they are shaping your life – your reality. Notice how you are speaking or acting or reacting or behaving from them. Awareness is the first step.

P.S. If you are interested in more Healing content. You can visit this page.

Only love,

CDHR